Serendipity, you have heard of this word, haven’t you? From the dictionary, it means “the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way”. I think most of us would agree we’ve experienced this at one time or another. I myself have had multiple phases of serendipity in my life, it seems to come and go in waves.
But where does serendipity come from and what does it mean? Here’s how I understand it. Coincidences happen. I must assume God has a hand in this, and truly, in my more manic moments, I can see the connectedness in every living thing, and in every single thing that happens. It’s a good thing it’s not like that when I’m normal, my brain couldn’t handle it.
Serendipity can happen on a macrocosmic level and a microcosmic level. On a microcosmic level, I, believing in God and the connectedness of everything, just tend to get myself confused. Even, or maybe even especially, when I am in periods of large serendipities, I want to ascribe meaning to every teeny little thing that happens. Like, if I get my tax refund check today, it means I am supposed to get an editor for the book I wrote, because then I can afford to pay one. Or the Writer’s Market book with agent contacts in it will come on my birthday, because it will be a good omen if I can submit the book on my actual birthday.
Neither one of those things came true. And even if they did, how do I even know my interpretation of the meaning is correct? It could mean something else entirely.
So it’s confusing, and at some point, I have to just decide not to do it.
On a macroscopic level, I can say that there are multiple times in my life where I have had large moments of serendipity. Times when multiple things have to come true, when there have to be multiple coincidences to achieve what God has planned for me. This has happened with jobs, it has happened with places to live, and it has happened clearly in at least one relationship, my David in jail. It’s a great feeling when this happens, and it reassures me that God indeed is in His Heaven, and He (or She at any particular moment) loves me. That is a really great feeling.
On the other hand, I have had at least one macrocosmic experience of coincidence that did not have a happy ending. That had to do with my second husband, Ken. After I left Ken, he said some very bad things about me, one was about me being crazy, and one that I had “an affair”, which is another long story and not important. Fundamentally, while not substantively true, there was some truth to both these statements interpreted in their strictest sense.
When I heard these things, I was furious. I decided I was going to sure Ken for slander. Later, my motive for this became something different. I, in my great wisdom, decided that if Ken were confronted with consequences for divorcing me because of these lies, he would have a moment of truth, like an alcoholic when they decide to quit drinking. A hitting-of-bottom with his narcissism that would lead to a complete recovery, which would in turn lead him to decide not to divorce me. It sounds ridiculously funny now, doesn’t it? But it seemed so true at the time. Now I call this my “year of magical thinking”, someone wrote a book about that.
Whatever the reason, I posted my case on a Legal-Find website, and lo and behold, of all the lawyers on that site, there was one two blocks from where I worked who said he was available. Not sure the lawyer was too keen on taking my case. Since I was only two blocks away, I could run out on my lunch break to talk to him personally and to prove to him that I’m not crazy. The lawyer took the case.
There were other little things that happened, signs I thought meant that I was on the right track in following this path, but predictably, this did not end well for me. The case got thrown out. I got no miracle, there was no redeeming moment of truth, I only got humiliated publicly.
To this day, I do not understand this. I file this under, “When I get to Heaven, God has some ‘splaining to do!” Ultimately, I just have to live with the Mystery, and I learned a valuable lesson – not every coincidence means what you think it does, nor is it synonymous with a happy ending.
My combined experience with Serendipity that I can share with you is this –
· I welcome the large serendipities when they come to me. They are surely gifts straight from God.
· I have to try not to ascribe meaning to every little thing even though I want to. It only blows my mind and confuses me, me with enough lack of humility to think I can know God’s mind and God’s plan and what everything means .
· I have awareness now that I have to be careful in my interpretations of things because not all coincidences are serendipitous, although frankly, I don’t know how you tell the difference when it’s happening.
The end result of all this is not at all mysterious. Just take what life gives you and make the most of it.
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